Friday, July 12, 2013

The sacrifices are so worth it

The last couple of days have been absolutely incredible. Really allowing myself to sit for multiple hours at a time just being immersed in scripture and prayer can make a HUGE difference. Although the emotion of missing home will not go away, the Lord has allowed me to open my heart and to really live out Philippians 4:11-12. The thing is, is that if anyone were to come up to me at any given time and say "What's your favorite bible verse?" I would respond saying "Oh its Philippians 4:11-12 and it says 'I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have already learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether being in plenty or in want. '" Sitting down and flipping to that passage earlier this week really convicted me. I realized that I am not being content in the situation, and I am not waiting patiently for the Lord to reveal himself to me while being perfectly content in my current situation. This week I really prayed for the Lord to not reveal himself to me because he was already at work in my life and in my days, but I asked for the Lord to put the desire in my heart to be open enough and faithful enough to just sit in his arms surrounded by peace and see with my own eyes what he is doing. I didnt need the Lord to reveal himself, I need the desire in my heart to open up my own eyes and be ready to see exactly what he is already doing. I was so focused on the next thing that day or the next day that I realized I was being so two faced. When someone asks what my favorite verse is, I cannot say Philippians 4:11-12 and then CLEARLY not be living it out.

This week I have truly been able to see the Lord working in my heart and giving me the desire to be content in every situation I have been in while I am here. I am not someone who can just sit and be still and know that He is God and not be ready to move onto the next thing, but this week the Lord has surrounded me with his truth and allowed me to be able to realx and LOVE the place I am in currently. The Lord has allowed me to spend many hours this week just sitting in homes with people and loving on Gods children while reading the bible with them, showing them pictures of my family and friends, teaching them fun american songs and dances, and just being God to people who are just as broken as I am. Today it really truly hit me that I only have less than 2 weeks left in Gulu. It is heart breaking to know that in less than 2 weeks I will have to leave these people I have made close relationships with and spend my whole days with. I have been greatly encouraged by everyone I have met whether it be in the village or the incredible interns that I have grown to love and admire. It makes it so easy to be able to come in at night and just pour into each other with advice and to have fun after a long days work. I cannot thank everyone enough for your constant love and support. Getting on social media and always having messages and comments of love and prayer is just so uplifting. I definitely would not be here without all the love and support everyone has given!

Also, I hope you are able to zoom in and read the letter I have attached. It is from a 13 year of named Moureen I spend lots of time with and walk to school everyday. She is so precious and it is things like this that allow my heart to crumble and realize that I would give ANYTHING up because the rewards the Lord has already given me have brought absolute pure joy. This letter allowed me to step back and be thankful for the hardships and sacrifices this whole experience has given me because it has made it all SO worth it:)


1 comment:

  1. Lauren, your whole Frazer family is praying for you. Thank you for sharing your heart and inspiring all of us to follow your Philippians 4:11-12 example.